


Mirror Mirror

by faithinthepoor



Series: Once Upon a Time [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 05:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/618771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follows the events of Fruit of the Poisonous Tree</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> In my series this follows my [Fairytale Drabbles](http://archiveofourown.org/works/618763)

Nothing good ever lasts. Not for her anyway. Even when the machinations of her plans run with clockwork precision the outcome is never truly satisfying. 

This plan proved to be no exception. She played Glass like a harp. With his aid she flipped the town’s favour away from Emma and back to herself. She used him to make Emma dance and Emma was the perfect puppet. She did everything Regina knew she would and as a result Regina got what she wanted. She wishes her success was something that brought her pleasure. Maybe she can’t ever have both. 

This success is more uncomfortable than most. Her actions remind her a little too much of the past. She wants to blame Glass - the sycophantic, lovesick, mess of a Genie makes it far too easy for her to take advantage of him - but she actually feels bad for using him. He is a pawn, a foot soldier, he is there to be used yet doing so seems beneath her. Knowing that she can control him just by placing her hand on his knee used to give her a feeling of superiority but now it just makes her feel like a cheap whore. 

This isn’t like before, she didn’t get the gullible fool to assassinate anyone, but it still feels dangerously close to ground that she shouldn’t be treading on. Character assassination may not be akin to the bite of a viper but it is still a death of sorts. She hates the thought that she has travelled so far only to learn she hasn’t moved at all.

If she’s honest with herself she knows there has been some progress. She tries not to think about it because the changes that have occurred seem scarier than no changes at all. Everything she did, this entire elaborate setup, was about someone else. It is terrifying to think that anyone could have become that important to her. When she damaged the sheriff’s reputation she didn’t do it to hurt Emma, though that will be a by-product, she did it to save her. Doing something for someone else is so alien to Regina that she fears she has gone about it all wrong. She’s certain that there was a better way to achieve her goal but sadly her talents lie in underhanded scheming and a girl has to play to her strengths.

She has no experience in this. In the act of caring about another individual. She cares for Henry, in her own way, but that’s nothing compared with her feelings for Emma. It makes no sense, she shouldn’t feel this way, they have absolutely nothing in common and although it’s hard to admit she knows she has nothing to offer Emma. Nothing good anyway. 

Regina has had no qualms about using her body to get what she wants. She has batted her eyes and men have killed for her. She has used marriage as nothing more than leverage, a platform to a title and power. She has literally taken hearts and the emotionless shells left behind have become her sex toys. She has used and she has taken - her mind a weapon, her body a tool – and throughout all of this she has remained untouched. In the war of wits and wills she has never met an equal. Until now.

She wishes she could put her problems down to rivalry. Regina is shrewd enough to know that she needs to eliminate any and all competition but that’s not what is going on here. She wants Emma, wants her in a way that she has never wanted anything before, and because of that she knows she can’t have her. Emma is too good for her. If she tries to keep her it will ruin Emma. She is completely toxic to every thing she touches. Her poison touch never mattered to Regina before, in fact it used to be a blessing, but it matters now.

Emma is wilful and stubborn and not someone who can be shaken by words. If Regina had told her that she thought they needed to end their liaison Emma would have slapped her or kissed her, probably both, and continued on as before. She had to find a way to make Emma hate her. No, that’s not quite right. Hate is a powerful emotion and at times a powerful aphrodisiac, Regina knows that better than anyone. She needed to find a way to make Emma feel that she couldn’t trust her. Emma needed to believe that Regina never really cared for her and that nothing they had was real.

It was a disturbingly easy task for her to achieve. The only thing she had to do was force Emma to see her the way everyone else does. To convince Emma that she was wrong to think she saw depth or complexity in her. Emma needed to believe that there was no good inside Regina. That her soul was black.

It’s not even a real lie. She had Emma followed. The photos damning her as a psychotic stalker already existed. She just needed to bring the evidence to light and with Sidney’s help she has made Emma believe that the discovery was all her own doing. 

For a moment, while Sidney sat there like a fawning imbecile, she felt pleased. That sense of accomplishment died when she touched him and her skin crawled. It made her realise that it will always be like this for her. Regina will never be able to touch someone and have it mean only that she wants to touch them. There will always be an agenda. She will never have anything other than tricks and illusions. She will never have anything at all. 

When Glass leaves she goes to the bathroom and washes her hands until her skin is raw. It doesn’t help her feel clean. That’s probably too much to ask. Her hands have always been dirty. She could scrub forever, until there’s nothing left but bleached bone, and they still wouldn’t be clean. The stain she has made with her betrayal and manipulation of Emma should be unnoticeable amongst all of the filth but Regina fears that from now on it will overshadow all of the other marks.

She checks her reflection in the mirror and reapplies her lipstick. This world doesn’t believe in magic but it really should. If a splash of colour held together by chemicals can hide a monster then anything is possible. 

As she returns to her office she detects movement inside and curses herself for laying things on too thick. She knew better than to put her hand on Glass’ leg. As far as he is concerned that act is a sign that he is only moments away from getting to pick out the font for their wedding invitations. She will have to find a way to let him down gently. She’d prefer not to have to do that. If she had her way, letting him down would involve her kicking a chair out from under him while he had a noose around his neck. 

That kind of behaviour isn’t an option. Not anymore. It’s not who she wants to be and it would also attract unwanted attention from the sheriff’s department. That kind of attention is something she simply can’t afford. She doesn’t fear the legal consequences, what she fears is contact with Emma.

With murder off the table she knows she has no choice but to charm Glass out of her office. “I thought we agreed that it was best you not spend too much time here.”

“I don’t recall us agreeing on anything. Ever.”

Regina is taken aback. The voice doesn’t belong to Sidney but rather to the sheriff she wants so desperately to avoid. She won’t allow herself to seem thrown, she is sure Emma is going for the element of surprise. “Well I certainly don’t recall agreeing that you were allowed in here afterhours. Although I’m glad to see that this time you didn’t resort to breaking and entering. On behalf of my windows I thank you for your adherence to the law.”

She moves to take her position behind the desk. It gives her a sense of power; she wants it to be clear to Emma that she is in control of the situation. Emma takes the opposite approach. She places her feet on coffee table and lounges on the settee with her arms resting along the top of its back. Emma’s laid back stance makes Regina’s power play seem desperate and it’s clear Emma knows it because she smirks as she says, “It’s not just your windows that are grateful. It saves me a whole lot of creative paper work.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well I was sitting here patiently rather than riffling through your draws so I think it’s safe to assume that I came to see you.”

“Why would you do that? After what has happened I thought I’d be the last person you would want see.”

“In a way you are. I think that’s exactly the reaction you were going for so I came to ask you why you did it.”

“What is it you think I did?”

“Screwed me over.”

“Oh you did that all by yourself dear.”

“I guess I did.”

“I’m glad that you can admit it. Surprised but glad.” Regina is feeling more at ease and comes out from behind the desk. She leans against it and does her best to look casual but she fears that casual is not a response that she has in her repertoire. 

“I am willing to own my mistakes.”

“And going for my blood in front of everyone when you evidence faulty was quite the mistake.”

“Oh that wasn’t my mistake.”

“Really? Because from where I was standing it seemed like one.”

“I doubt it. I think from where you were standing it would have looked as though I did exactly what you wanted me to do. My mistake was overestimating you.”

“I’ll think you’ll find that I’m the one the town trusts now. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s been overestimated,” she allows a note of smugness to creep into her voice.

“I always knew would do whatever it takes to get what you want. I just overestimated you capacity to feel anything. I overestimated your feelings for Henry and I certainly overestimated your feelings for me.”

This is what was meant to happen. Emma was meant to believe that she didn’t care. It just wasn’t meant to feel this awful. “I know it probably doesn’t matter anymore but I didn’t take Henry’s book and I didn’t cut the brakes on your car.”

“The book is the first thing you wanted to absolve yourself of in this situation? Interesting choice.”

She shrugs, “It seemed like the thing you would find more important.”

“Is that so?” Emma’s smile is genuine and disarming and it is also Regina’s undoing.

She moves to the settee and sits beside Emma. “In case you thought I was splitting hairs, I want to be clear that I didn’t order anyone to cut your brakes either.”

“I won’t pretend that the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.”

“I don’t know what power you think I have but even if I really was the all-controlling, evil monster that every thinks I am I wouldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t.” This is far more than she should be telling Emma.

“But manipulating me into a position where I commit social harakiri in front of the town is right up your alley isn’t it?”

“I just wanted to get Henry to stop hero worshipping you. Anything else was a bonus.” It’s not the complete truth but at least it’s something.

“I know you have a problem with me spending time with Henry but why now? Why like this? Why couldn’t you have just talked to me like a normal person?”

“Because you wouldn’t have listened. You would have kept sneaking around and meeting up with him in that death trap of a fort.”

“And you would have known all about it because you are a deranged stalker who takes photos of my every move,” Emma all but spits.

“It pays to know one’s enemy.”

“Is that what I am to you?” the blonde’s gaze is piercing and Regina feels vulnerable beneath its power.

“I wish it were that easy.”

“Do you really think things would be better if we were enemies?” Emma asks and moves closer to her.

“I used to think so but right now I can’t seem to recall why.”

“You know those stalker photos of yours?”

“Mmmhmm,” she replies. The change topic barely registers as strange. Somehow her brain is losing the ability to function properly. She suspects it’s because Emma is toying with her necklace.

“Are there any of us?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t destroy them if that’s what you’re thinking. From the outset I was very clear that I was not to be watched. Under no circumstances were there to be photos of me. Pictures of me, no matter how innocent, come with the potential for repercussions. I had now idea just how important that clause would be. What happened between us would have resulted in many, many of photos of me compromising positions.”

“It’s helpful to know how you view your time with me.”

“I was talking about how other people would see it. My feelings for you are irrelevant. It would have been a scandal regardless.”

“And we couldn’t have that could we?” Emma’s words are thick with sarcasm but she can’t meet Regina’s eyes.

Against all better reason she puts her hand on Emma’s knee and says, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly popular. I don’t think I would survive that kind of scandal.” She is in completely the opposite situation to earlier. When her hand was on Glass’s knee she wanted to remove it but forced herself to hold it in place. Right now she knows it’s folly to keep her hand on Emma’s knee but she doesn’t seem to have the willpower that moving it requires.

“And we both know avoiding such a scandal is more important to you than anything.”

“It has to be.”

“No it doesn’t. You could be more than this. More than shallow popularity and empty power. This is small town. This is nothing.”

Emma is wrong but Regina can’t tell her that this town is literally her whole world. “It’s all I have.”

“You had me. You’d still have me if this town hadn’t meant more to you than I do.”

She considers herself somewhat of an expert when it comes to pain but she had no idea that it was possible to hurt this much. “You’ll leave. So will Henry. All I’ll have is this town. This job.”

“Well then I hope this town will keep you warm at night.” 

Emma grabs Regina’s hand and tries to remove it from her knee but Regina laces their fingers together and says, “It won’t.”

The sheriff squeezes her hand and Regina’s heart seems to contract, “So why did you do this?”

“Things are black and white here. There is only room for one hero.”

“And you decided that it should be you?”

She reaches up and strokes Emma’s face, “You don’t need to be their hero. It’s not the same for you. You could leave. You _should_ leave.”

“You could leave too. I’m not suggesting you should come with me but you don’t have to stay here.”

“Yes I do.”

“You’re not stuck here. It’s not a prison.”

She feels tears, real tears, form in her eyes, “Not for you.”

“Are you like Henry? Do you believe bad things happen to the residents of this town if they try to leave?”

“I believe I’ve made choices that mean my future lies here.”

“If that’s true why wouldn’t you want to make the best of your situation?”

“By best do you mean you?”

“I’m not saying that we were going to play happy families,” Regina has a strange reaction to Emma mentioning them being a family, even if it is in jest, “but I do think we could have been good together. At least we could have had some fun.”

Regina flashes back to the moment that she told Glass that now that he had Emma’s trust they could have some real fun and wishes she could take it back. “Fun isn’t a word that people often associate with me.”

“I’m not most people,” Emma moves over so that their thighs are touching.

Regina bites her lip and tries to suppress the thoughts the contact is causing. “It won’t work. You need more than I can give.”

“It’s not you for to decide.”

“It is when I feel I’m letting you down. I’ll never be able to give you what you want.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

“I think you want to be happy.”

Emma seems to visibly deflate, “You don’t think I’d be happy with you?”

“Not in the long run.”

“That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

She looks away and says, “It’s the truth.”

Emma moves to sit on the coffee table and places a hand on each of Regina’s thighs. “The thing that makes it sad is that you are willing to sacrifice the present for a future that may not even happen.”

“I’m a realist, I don’t believe in fairytales, just one of my many flaws.”

“I think it’s just a sign that you’ve been hurt.”

“Well that makes me sound tragically ordinary.”

“God forbid,” Emma says with a small laugh.

“As if I wasn’t upset enough.”

“Perhaps you shouldn’t have put quite so much effort into discrediting me if losing me is something that upsets you.”

“And have I?”

“Have you what?”

“Lost you.”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“I wish I knew how I felt about that.” She also wishes it didn’t feel quite so good to know that she may still have a chance with Emma.

Emma slides her hands up Regina’s thighs and in response Regina moves her legs apart. Emma bites at Regina’s shoulder and then says, “When you know what it is you want you know where to find me.” She then stands and moves to leave.

Regina grabs Emma’s hand and tells her, “I’m not sure I want you to leave.”

“And that’s why I can’t stay.” Emma doesn’t let go of her hand and Regina allows Emma to drag her across the office. When they reach the door Emma stops, “You can come with me but if you do it has to be because you know this is what you really want.”

She shakes her head, “I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“Then I will just wait until you do,” Emma places a kiss to her lips, “but I won’t wait forever and don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

“So I take it you won’t be extolling my virtues to the entire world.”

“Well if I did that people really would get suspicious, wouldn’t they?”

“So as far as the world knows you’ll hate me?”

“It will pretty much be business as usual and I’m not even sure that it’s a lie.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” and she means it. “I thought what I was doing was the best thing. For all of us.”

“I’m not certain that even makes a difference. I may have always hated you.”

Regina grabs the back of Emma’s head and joins their foreheads together. “I hate you too,” she whispers. 

She kisses Emma and Emma returns the kiss with passion. Regina tries to remove Emma’s ridiculous coat but Emma steps away. “This isn’t part of the plan.”

“What’s the matter? Afraid of losing your resolve?”

“I’m afraid it will only complicate things.”

“You think they’re not complicated now?

“And whose fault is that?”

“I wish things were different.” She shakes her head, “I wish I were different.”

“You could be.”

“So you think you can change me?” she hopes her voice doesn’t betray the anger that wells inside of her. It’s not a side of her that see wants Emma to see.

“No. I happen to think you’re fine just the way you are but I also happen to believe that you want to change.”

“I do. So much. I’ve been trying, really trying, but I’m starting to think that I don’t have it in me.”

“Whatever happens I’ll still be interested. Just make sure this soul searching thing of yours doesn’t take too long.”

“I’ll try.”

Emma places a hand on the side of Regina’s face, “I know.”

“I’m frightened I may not succeed.”

“I know that too,” and with that Emma departs. Regina stands there and watches her go. She doesn’t know how long she waits in the doorway but it’s not long enough to make Emma change her mind and come back.

Regina walks into the office and tries to imagine that things could be different. She takes a breath and looks in the mirror. The only face staring back is her own. The only soul trapped in the glass is hers. She looks at the woman in the mirror and tries to see a woman worthy of being with Emma but all she sees is a wicked queen.


End file.
